Date: 08 Jul 2008 6:41 pm Title: Chapter 1
I really liked this, it wsa very original. However, might I suggest getting rid of that last line? By stating what really happened, you lose the magical, ambiguous feel, though most readers are probably able to figure out what you meant anyway, and so in a way that explanatory sentence is almost insulting. Anyway, just something to think about. Nice job!
Date: 26 Apr 2008 3:19 pm Title: Chapter 1
I don't know what to say. This is just so cute and perfect.
Bella saves Edward before the is even born, even before they met!
There is so much love in this story. It's so lovely, I can't even come up with good criticism.