Date: 13 Mar 2011 11:16 pm Title: Chapter 1
I have no idea how long ago you wrote this, but it has potential to be a lot of fun. Your betas need to do a better job; I immediately found two words used incorrectly. Just a thought. Looking forward to reading more. Right now! Pipster
Date: 31 Oct 2010 9:49 pm Title: Chapter 22
I saw in the reviews that someone said this was just a repeat of chapter 21 and wasn't sure if I believed them, but it really is. I don't know if something got mixed up but this is not a different chapter from the last.
Date: 31 Oct 2010 9:46 pm Title: Chapter 21
I think that was the perfect way to end this chapter. Even though there is more to the scene. I haven't reviewed at all until this point but I have to tell you that this is a wonderful story. Although the dialog isn't yours, the insights and writing is spot on in my opinion. Very well done!
Date: 12 May 2010 1:41 am Title: Chapter 20
First love is a wonder to behold. And sometimes it becomes the only love you ever want or need. Bella and Edward are a perfect example. Rosalie needs a major attitude adjustment. Too bad no one will give her one. Alice is on the way to being her best friend and supporter. Though Esme and Carlisle I think top that category. Being creative is subjective. You are giving us a view of what happened from a prospective not in the book. The dialogue may be the same, but the interpretation of what the dialogue means is totally different. If that's not being creative, what is?
Date: 12 May 2010 1:07 am Title: Chapter 19
Billy sure wanted to tell Charlie, but Bella tried to make sure she didn't leave them alone so he could. Jacob doesn't believe and that's a good thing. Alice knows Bella loves Edward. Bella know Bella loves Edward. Now it's time to make Edward believe that. Did I detect an oops? Edward wouldn't drive to Bella's and leave his car in the driveway. Someone would be sure to mention that to Charlie. Long chapters are wonderful. The longer the better as far as I'm concerned. Then again I'm not a writer, just a reader so that's easy for me to say.
Date: 11 May 2010 5:53 am Title: Chapter 18
Love never does run smoothly. It gets interrupted by real life. Love all the questions and answers that weren't in Twilight. In a lot of ways this is much more fun. Billy has learned from Jacob about the conversation on the beach. He's had Sam, Jared and Paul keeping an eye on what's going on and now he's prepared to tell Charlie. Bad move on his part was doing it at Charlie's house. Bella is not about to let him say anything to Charlie and warns him that it isn't any of his business. And lets him know she knows who and what the Cullen's are. Wonder what everyone will do with this news in your story? Should be very interesting. I want extremely long chapters and more of them, lol. I really do like the long chapters. The longer the better is my motto.