Date: 20 May 2010 5:06 pm Title: Chapter 1
Charlie strongly suggested she go to the party would be my guess and trying to be the good daughter she went. Lauren the bitch is always out of line it's nice, but surprising, that Jess is actually calling her on her behavior. There's too much bad stuff happening in Bella's world for her to be anything except withdrawn. Mike being a friend is better. The dog costume is exactly how Bella pictured him from the beginning.
Date: 06 Feb 2009 11:06 pm Title: Chapter 1
I like this story, because you get to see Bella in her normal high school surroundings! Good job, also makes Mike look like more of a person, than a lost puppy!!
Author's Response: Thanks, Chelce! I always liked her everyday parts of the books. And yes, poor Mike needs a bit of a characterization makeover or at least good, non-judgmental characterization.
Date: 11 Jan 2009 5:24 am Title: Chapter 1
Aww that was really good, I really liked it!!
I loved the references to the movie and to Pel's submission rules: (Bella, doll, let's par-tay!)
I LOL'D when I saw the guitar hero reference - true story - I had a couple of mates we couldn't pull away during Hal cos of Guitar Hero... and the VERY same song n level at that!! (soooo not lying too)...!
It was so interesting to see this written in Mike's perspective and I liked how you got him calling her 'Arizona' - that WAS a really unique Mike-ish addition to the movie =) I'm glad someone agrees with me!
Overall, this made me smile. I know it was slightly depressing and I've read since that you've had personal experience in that situation but I think that's what made your writing so real! Well Done!
Author's Response: Thanks. I've been having a lot of fun with the references to th emovie. And I've been dying to use the "Bella, babydoll, let's par-tay!" for months. I actually intended to use it for a chapter of My Big Fat Vampire Wedding, but thought it more in-character for Mike instead. LOL, the Guitar Hero thing is a jab at me. One of my roommates has it and has said many times that we can use it, but none of us did until the Christmas break when we were bored and she was gone. Well, now we've pretty much worn out the disk. I'm finally doing a decent job on Medium. That's a funny story. I loved the thing with Mike calling her "Arizona" in the movie. It seemed to be exactly the sort of teasing-flirt stuff he would pull. Glad you liked the perspective of Mike. I'm glad there were smileable moments because it's definitely more like Mike to have this be a little more humorous than depressing. Thanks!
Date: 05 Jan 2009 5:01 pm Title: Chapter 1
I did catch the Kirk story being from the movie. I do like your references, they just sometimes feel a little weird. :)
Ok, so the golden retriever thing is great. It would make Bella laugh. I'm not sure Mike knows himself well enough to be comfortable in a dog costume (I know I would be caught wearing one, cat maybe, dog no :) (but that's more of a vanity thing, so maybe a guy would be ok with it)), but now that I get it, it is hilarious. :)
Sorry about the nested parentheses. They probably make this pretty hard to read.
Author's Response: LOL, I get it. A lot of things in my stories are funnier if you get the context. I'm not sure she'd laugh, but Mike goes for the costume because he thinks of himself as big, lovable and loyal. I was once a dalmatian, but that's off-topic. :) Glad it now makes sense and was hilarious. Naw, I'm used to nested parentheses.