Date: 10 Nov 2008 7:45 pm Title: One shot
It's Sweet. Very sweet. However, I feel that it could use some more detail. Ren always tells me that when you dont have much of a plot you have to have detail. I think you should spend a little more time with Bella, maybe her waking up and things of that nature. Also, put more detail into it. The main point that needs the detail is the begining. Almost nothing happens in the first scene so put more detail into it.
Wishing you Luck and Love;
Author's Response: Thank you for the review :) I've read all of them. I know that many of my one-shots lack detail, but they are more of a fun, drabble, straight to the point type of story. I'm only doing snippets. I have more detailed stories on my FF.net account.